Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
never play flip cup with pint glasses
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
don't judge my taste in strippers
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
