why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
