Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
