If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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