My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
