i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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