I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
