bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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