singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
