To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
