I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
how drunk are you?
Several
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
