Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
