was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
