im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
