Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize