I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
