i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
