My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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