But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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