ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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