Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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