drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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