My room smells like vodka and shame
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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