I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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