Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I can't turn off my feet"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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