This dress was meant to end up on your floor
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
