apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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