Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
