I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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