OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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