We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
