We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
