I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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