Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
