So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
cat food counts as protein by the way
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize