we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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