I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
How's work?
Spinning.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
