We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
