Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
