Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
do herpes really smell.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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