i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Drunk is a universal language darling
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