he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
