Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
