omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
