Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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