Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
