I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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