halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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