Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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