im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize