We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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