we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
