Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
