It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
