hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Randomize
