you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
