respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
