is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize