The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
