The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
