Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
