You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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