Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
