its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
