we're blogging at a bar
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
