I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
