Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Non-Jews are for practice
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
