i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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