the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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