Dual....:-)
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
