I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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