Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
