bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
