i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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